I have never really thought myself especially worthy to hear God speak. Moses I am not. However, there have been a few times when God has spoken to me in the most clear voice. It is actually hard to put it into words. To try to describe it, I would say it is sort of like being in a dimly lit room. A person can see shapes and even discern, with a small degree of guesswork, who people are. When God speaks it is like that room instantly becomes lit, with every detail brilliantly shown.
Do not mistake what I am saying to mean I am not led by the Spirit. That happens to me far more often, as it should be. Those of you who know can attest to this. Being led by the Spirit gives the believer a degree of certainty, regardless of whatever circumstance plagues us at the time. It is really a Supernatural certainty, no matter what the course of action is. Being a minister of music, I have felt that many times when choosing the path of worship in church. Other times, I have felt that when witnessing to a person, or going out of my way to do something. That certainty is special. It is that incredible indwelling relationship that a redeemed person has . . . the Spirit of Christ in us.
While being led by the Spirit gives us certainty, hearing God speak is enlightenment. And upon retrospection, I have found that He more often than not speaks to me in times of question and crisis. When God speaks, you lose that sense of "what if" and "why".
God spoke to me last Friday. I was driving home, in a stand-still traffic jam on 75 South. On these long drives home (2+ hours), I usually find in my thoughts an undercurrent of what really is affecting me and my life. To be honest, underneath my "professional smile", regardless of my positive attitude or do-it-myself philosophy, I am really just a struggling seeker who is just as screwed up as anyone else out there. I used to think that Christians have it all together. Truth is, we don't. The only thing different between a believer and a non-believer is who we serve and what we believe. Thus, the terms believer and non-believer. Nothing else changes. Stupid choices always bring painful consequences. I am almost thirty-four and often wonder if I'll ever get that one figured out.
God spoke to me, right in the middle of my turmoil. He said, audibly from my own mouth, using my own thoughts, " . . . I have to stop focusing on who I want to be, and start focusing on who You are".
I had lost my way, and God was kind enough to let me know why. Integrity, Purpose, Character, Wisdom, Knowledge . . . all of that comes secondary, and is so much more difficult without the peace that God gives. Focusing on who God is like being drawn to a magnet. Once we turn our focus towards Him, He draws us in.
However, we must never place God as our top priority. That doesn't work at all. Priorities can be changed, as you can see from the above example of my own crisis. God must be our LIFE. Like the air we breathe. We can only go without air for so long. Once we lose our way, or breath, we flounder. We lose our vision. Everything becomes blurry. All quickly seems lost, and we even fight what tries to save us, as a drowning person so often does. There have been humans who have went up to seven minutes without air. Most of us can barely squeeze out one minute before we start to panic.
In the middle of this fight, God spoke to me. It's simple really. Too many distractions of life. We don't make time to focus on Him and His will, and we start to lose our breath. We stop breathing the breath that our Creator breathed into us. Quite literally, he is our breath . . . our life. We lose our focus on Him. We flail. We struggle when He tries to intervene.
God spoke to me, and I thank Him for it. My Integrity and Character will continue to be shaped as God walks with me. I have started to breathe again, and nothing feels so good to someone.
© Copyright Derek Hickman 2007