Caught In The Middle?

I am constantly amazed. We know so much about our fallen nature, yet still struggle so heavily with the idea of Self vs. Selfishness.

If you really think about it, there is a constant un-civil war going on in our souls (our minds, insight, emotions, and wills). Everything around us tells us to either "man up" and take charge of our destiny, or to give up and give in to fate. We are being tempted . . . by pretty much everything around us.

How do we live "in" the world and not "of" the world? I think I have a pretty good grasp of this concept, but then God shows me more of my true Self He wants, and the current regime doesn't line up very well . . . I'm trying to control my control, and find myself having issues with my issues.

This song blew me away this morning:

Somewhere between the hot and the cold
Somewhere between the new and the old
Somewhere between who I am and who I used to be
Somewhere in the middle, You'll find me

Somewhere between the wrong and the right
Somewhere between the darkness and the light
Somewhere between who I was and who You're making me
Somewhere in the middle, You'll find me

Just how close can I get, Lord, to my surrender
without losing all control

Fearless warriors in a picket fence,
reckless abandon wrapped in common sense

Deep water faith in the shallow end
and we are caught in the middle

With eyes wide open to the differences,
the God we want and the God who is

But will we trade our dreams for His
or are we caught in the middle

Are we caught in the middle

- Casting Crowns ("Somewhere In The Middle")

We have failed to trust Him with everything. Logically, it makes perfect sense to surrender ALL to the God who wants and gives the best for us. But we still struggle with our flesh, with our need for control. We still want to call the shots.

God gave me this verse earlier this week:

I Peter 1:13-17 - "Therefore, prepare your minds for action, keep sober in spirit, fix your hope completely on the grace to be brought to you at the revelation of Jesus Christ. As obedient children, do not be conformed to the former lusts which were yours in your ignorance, but like the Holy One who called you, be holy yourselves also in all your behavior; because it is written, "YOU SHALL BE HOLY, FOR I AM HOLY." If you address as Father the One who impartially judges according to each one's work, conduct yourselves in fear during the time of your stay on earth."

I am deeply convicted. I am ashamed. I repent.

I surrender.

© Copyright Derek Hickman 2008