Our Deepest Fear

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn't serve the world. There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We are born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us, it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” - Marianne Williamson

My mirror has cracked. One by one pieces are falling onto the floor, with a soft, wet thud in the darkness at my feet. I'm confused, because with each piece that falls I brace myself for the loud shatter of glass.

But there is none. Just a muffled, damp thud . . . thud . . . thud.

My identity is skewed, and I panic because I can no longer see my reflection . . .

Something's happening.

I can now see that behind my mirror is another . . . this one somehow different. The person I see is still recognizable as myself, but the colors are brighter; the darkness that enveloped me before is now gone, replaced by a light so beautiful that it glows out of the frame and into the room.

And in this new light, I can now see the reason for my confusion. My cracked mirror wasn't a mirror at all, but a painting of sorts, fastened over the reflection of my true self. A painting fashioned by my own hand. A self-proclaimed masterpiece of dark impressionism, where the subject is hinted at and the truth about my identity has been made relevant to the point of absurdity . . . almost to the point of treason.

And I've been comfortable with that . . . until now.

But now my facade has been broken.

My last-ditch attempts to control my own image have been supremely thwarted by the very One who created me.

He wants to show everyone my true reflection . . . of His glory . . . in me.

I have been hiding behind what I used to be, finding a sick, twisted comfort in the familiar rags of MY painting, but that will not do.

He is exposing me for who I am NOW.

I am Royalty. A child of Heaven. A shining witness of Redemption to all the world.

My deepest fear is realized.

© Copyright Derek Hickman 2009

I Then Shall Live

I have found no other song that encapsulates worship such as this one:



What a message! What an incredible glimpse at what worship in Heaven could be like!

Heavenly Hugs and A Father's Heart . . .

It's early. I've already walked three miles with my friend Kevin and have been sitting in my chair in the living room, enjoying my quiet time, consumed in my thoughts about the day ahead.

Reagan just padded down the stairs a minute ago, and came teetering over to my chair, his eyes still sleepy and a smile on his face. He reached for me and I picked him up and gave him a big hug. Whatever I was thinking of, quite honestly, disappeared. My day stopped and we just enjoyed loving on each other for a few minutes, father and son. It was quite heavenly!

I have learned to cherish these moments, because they are becoming such a rarity. Once he wakes up, Reagan becomes a tour de force of energy and toddler mayhem! Life must be conquered! Toys must be broken! Walls must be written on! There's so much to learn and do! Busy, busy, busy!

To be able to hug him during the day is a lesson in futility.

And right in the middle of our heavenly hug, it hit me . . .

This is what God wants to do every day with us. He wants to love on us too, just as a father wants to love on his son or daughter. Scripture tells us that His mercies are new every morning, because of His great love!

Read it for yourself.

Lamentations 3:21-23 says, " Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope: Because of the LORD's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness."

But sometimes I see myself in Reagan. I get up, and before I know it I'm off! Things to do! People to see! Places to go! Toys to break!

And I forget about my time with my Heavenly Father.

Just yesterday, somebody was talking about the intricate details of showing our love to God, and praising Him with this decision and that worship song. That's fine, but we also need to know that God wants to love on us too!

Forget about the theology of worship for just a minute, and instead view God as our Father who wants to spend time with us, whose great love is renewed every single day for YOU and ME.

I love the lyrics to this song:

There he was just waiting, in our old familiar place.
An empty spot beside him, where once I used to wait
to be filled with strength and wisdom for the battles of the day.
I would have passed him by again but I clearly heard him say

(chorus)

I miss my time with you
those moments together
I need to be with you each day
and it hurt's me when you say
you're too busy, busy trying to serve me.
But how can you serve me when your spirit's empty?
There's a longing in my heart
wanting more than just a part of you.
It's true, I miss my time with you

(verse two)
What do I have to offer?
How can I truly care?
My efforts have no meaning when your presence isn't there.
But you'll provide the power if I take time to pray.
I'll stay right here beside you and you'll never have to say..

(chorus)

I miss my time with you
those moments together
I need to be with you each day
and it hurt's me when you say
you're too busy, busy trying to serve me.
But how can you serve me when your spirit's empty?
There's a longing in my heart
wanting more than just a part of you.
It's true, I miss my time with you

- (Larnelle Harris, "I Miss My Time With You")

Take some time today to let your Heavenly Father love on YOU.

© Copyright Derek Hickman 2009