Our Deepest Fear

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn't serve the world. There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We are born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us, it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” - Marianne Williamson

My mirror has cracked. One by one pieces are falling onto the floor, with a soft, wet thud in the darkness at my feet. I'm confused, because with each piece that falls I brace myself for the loud shatter of glass.

But there is none. Just a muffled, damp thud . . . thud . . . thud.

My identity is skewed, and I panic because I can no longer see my reflection . . .

Something's happening.

I can now see that behind my mirror is another . . . this one somehow different. The person I see is still recognizable as myself, but the colors are brighter; the darkness that enveloped me before is now gone, replaced by a light so beautiful that it glows out of the frame and into the room.

And in this new light, I can now see the reason for my confusion. My cracked mirror wasn't a mirror at all, but a painting of sorts, fastened over the reflection of my true self. A painting fashioned by my own hand. A self-proclaimed masterpiece of dark impressionism, where the subject is hinted at and the truth about my identity has been made relevant to the point of absurdity . . . almost to the point of treason.

And I've been comfortable with that . . . until now.

But now my facade has been broken.

My last-ditch attempts to control my own image have been supremely thwarted by the very One who created me.

He wants to show everyone my true reflection . . . of His glory . . . in me.

I have been hiding behind what I used to be, finding a sick, twisted comfort in the familiar rags of MY painting, but that will not do.

He is exposing me for who I am NOW.

I am Royalty. A child of Heaven. A shining witness of Redemption to all the world.

My deepest fear is realized.

© Copyright Derek Hickman 2009

I Then Shall Live

I have found no other song that encapsulates worship such as this one:



What a message! What an incredible glimpse at what worship in Heaven could be like!

Heavenly Hugs and A Father's Heart . . .

It's early. I've already walked three miles with my friend Kevin and have been sitting in my chair in the living room, enjoying my quiet time, consumed in my thoughts about the day ahead.

Reagan just padded down the stairs a minute ago, and came teetering over to my chair, his eyes still sleepy and a smile on his face. He reached for me and I picked him up and gave him a big hug. Whatever I was thinking of, quite honestly, disappeared. My day stopped and we just enjoyed loving on each other for a few minutes, father and son. It was quite heavenly!

I have learned to cherish these moments, because they are becoming such a rarity. Once he wakes up, Reagan becomes a tour de force of energy and toddler mayhem! Life must be conquered! Toys must be broken! Walls must be written on! There's so much to learn and do! Busy, busy, busy!

To be able to hug him during the day is a lesson in futility.

And right in the middle of our heavenly hug, it hit me . . .

This is what God wants to do every day with us. He wants to love on us too, just as a father wants to love on his son or daughter. Scripture tells us that His mercies are new every morning, because of His great love!

Read it for yourself.

Lamentations 3:21-23 says, " Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope: Because of the LORD's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness."

But sometimes I see myself in Reagan. I get up, and before I know it I'm off! Things to do! People to see! Places to go! Toys to break!

And I forget about my time with my Heavenly Father.

Just yesterday, somebody was talking about the intricate details of showing our love to God, and praising Him with this decision and that worship song. That's fine, but we also need to know that God wants to love on us too!

Forget about the theology of worship for just a minute, and instead view God as our Father who wants to spend time with us, whose great love is renewed every single day for YOU and ME.

I love the lyrics to this song:

There he was just waiting, in our old familiar place.
An empty spot beside him, where once I used to wait
to be filled with strength and wisdom for the battles of the day.
I would have passed him by again but I clearly heard him say

(chorus)

I miss my time with you
those moments together
I need to be with you each day
and it hurt's me when you say
you're too busy, busy trying to serve me.
But how can you serve me when your spirit's empty?
There's a longing in my heart
wanting more than just a part of you.
It's true, I miss my time with you

(verse two)
What do I have to offer?
How can I truly care?
My efforts have no meaning when your presence isn't there.
But you'll provide the power if I take time to pray.
I'll stay right here beside you and you'll never have to say..

(chorus)

I miss my time with you
those moments together
I need to be with you each day
and it hurt's me when you say
you're too busy, busy trying to serve me.
But how can you serve me when your spirit's empty?
There's a longing in my heart
wanting more than just a part of you.
It's true, I miss my time with you

- (Larnelle Harris, "I Miss My Time With You")

Take some time today to let your Heavenly Father love on YOU.

© Copyright Derek Hickman 2009

Mind Games

2 Timothy 1:7 - "For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind."

Fear becomes sin when we refuse to take it captive to the obedience of Christ.

It is a very effective weapon waged by our enemy in the battle for our soul (our mind, intellect, emotions, etc.) This is where the Christian's battles are fought (as you well know!) Fear tempts us to let go of belief; to turn our backs on faith.

This is partially why Paul tells us, in 2 Cor. 10:3-5, "For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war according to the flesh, for the weapons of our warfare are not of the flesh, but divinely powerful for the destruction of fortresses."...

"We are destroying SPECULATIONS and every lofty thing raised up against the knowledge of God, and we are taking every thought captive to the obedience of Christ".

Fear is what stands in the way of obedience and is the ultimate enemy of our faith. It's primary purpose is to DESTROY our faith by producing, in us, disobedience.

When we refuse to take it captive, we sin. We tell God, "I don't believe You are bigger".

We idolize Fear.

© Copyright Derek Hickman 2009

Prayer

Most of us do NOT have an effective prayer life.

I'm convinced this is our reality because of our lack of understanding in the process of prayer. If we do succeed in praying daily (which is becoming so rare these days), for the most part it consists of us telling God what we need and want.

Then we go and live our lives.

What a travesty! We become guilty of a casual or perfunctory prayer life without realizing that our outlook determines our outcome. We must have a proper view of the process of prayer, and this includes a mental platform or foundation made up of a principled mindset. There are several key realizations and beliefs we must have to actually have a real prayer life.

In Scripture, we find many uses for prayer, such as prayers for covering, strength, blessing, healing, peace, rest, praise, petition, tearing down of strongholds, and more. The first realization we must have, however, is that we are in a Spiritual War. We pray through Jesus to God against our Enemy. Every prayer encapsulates this process.

Secondly, we must be blameless before God. After our initial prayer of repentance, our prayers must be consistently lifted from a holy life and mind of Christ. We must be holy as He is holy, and this can only be imparted to us through the Holy Spirit working in our surrendered body, soul, and spirit. This is a huge reason we are ineffective in our prayers. Many of us either live with sin in our lives, or we refuse to give full control to the Holy Spirit. We must be sanctified entirely! This empowers us, and makes our prayers effective. "The effective, fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much" (James 5:16)

The third realization we have is that God is bigger. Bigger than what we either know or don't know. Bigger than our limited view of His will. Bigger than anything we can imagine. This realization alone allows us to compare our earthly fear against the backdrop of His nature. "The Fear of the Lord is clean, enduring forever. The judgments of the Lord are true; they are righteous altogether" (Psalm 19:9)

Earthly fear loses. Period. And once we live our lives without fear, we start to see the freedom God gives. The abundant life . . .

God is BIGGER.

You can illustrate this point by finding a picture on your wall in your house. Walk up to this picture and put your eye flush against it, as close as you can. Without previously knowing what the picture looked like, there is no way you can discern what the picture is. You are simply incapable of seeing the BIG PICTURE. God reveals to us parts of the picture, as we mature and walk with Him, but His revealed Word is primarily about the Gospel, which is more than enough for now.

He is BIGGER.

And this brings us to another important realization so vital to our mindset of prayer.

It’s not about what we want, only because our wants are so limited. Our view is simply not big enough to even be able to see what we should want.

Our will is not irrelevant, however. No, it is actually the most powerful tool in the makeup of humanity. We do matter in this equation, because and only because He chooses to take our surrendered will and use us, through that choice we make, to do HIS WILL. His will is all-important, and our entire fulfillment, the reason we enjoy life, is found through HIM using US.

He is Trustworthy. For us to realize this in our prayer life, we must give up control. This is so hard for us, but it is vital to our success. We must trust Him with our life. We must lay it down voluntarily for Him to take it up again. This is what the Father commands. What helps us in this process is the growing realization we have that He loves us so much. Couple that with our knowledge that He is bigger, and we have a recipe for trust.

We are to pray Expectantly. Scripture tells us to come boldly to the throne, and why wouldn't we? If we believe and know that He is God, and we have the proper mindset, then there is no reason for a faithless prayer life. The Father's will be done, and we speak through Jesus our intercessor, in His name and for His sake . . . BOLDLY.

"Our Father, who art in Heaven, hallowed be thy name. Thy Kingdom come, Thy will be done on earth as it is in Heaven. Give us this day our daily bread, and forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil. For thine is the Kingdom, and the Power, and the Glory forever. Amen"

© Copyright Derek Hickman 2009

The Impotent Gospel and the End of the Gospel (notes)

When we reject the Truth God gives, we take the pardon He offers, this way out of our Monstrous Mess, and we trample it, nullify it, and render it useless for the saving of our soul. We reject it. We render it IMPOTENT. The definition of impotent means “To be powerless: lacking strength or power; being unable to perform the function designed for.”

We render the Gospel Impotent when we try to live it without the empowerment of the Spirit, and we render it impotent when we reject Truth.

But why would we want to? The insanity of sin. Professing to be wise, we become the fool!!!!!

The Gracious Gift of God . . . miscarried . . . The Impotent Gospel.

There is the Equality of the Gospel. We have all sinned, thus making us equal in our sin and equally important to God in His redemptive nature.

There is also the Effectiveness of the Gospel. We cannot be effective communicators of the Good News until the Holy Spirit takes full residence in our beings. We cannot be effective until we are empowered.

The Equality of the Gospel. The Effectiveness of the Gospel.

Then finally, in the truest sense of Word, there will be an Ending of the Gospel.

There is coming a day when the offered pardon of God will end. There is a terrible finality coming that we cannot imagine. No more second chances. No more do-overs. No more mercy, renewed and refreshed each day. No more offer of Forgiveness. No more prevenient Grace. No more call to the Gospel, and no more rejection of the Gospel, because it will be GONE, out of reach to the one who refuses to believe and follow.

This is a day when Truth is shown to be what it has always been – the ultimate deliverer for those who stand with it, and the damnation of those who have already rejected it.

Seek ye the LORD while he may be found, call ye upon him while he is near: Let the wicked forsake his way, and the unrighteous man his thoughts: and let him return unto the LORD, and he will have mercy upon him; and to our God, for he will abundantly pardon. Isaiah 55:6-7.

© Copyright Derek Hickman 2009

The Gospel Incarnate

This is what I'm preaching on Sunday . . .

Our Perfunctory Pastime

Our nation is desperately in need of spiritual awakening. But our emphasis on evangelism apart from doctrine will certainly not do it. The Great Awakening was the result of solid doctrinal preaching that addressed both the heart and the mind. It was preaching that dared to expose sin in the church. And God used it to sweep thousands into his family. Perhaps it is time that we dug again these old wells and learned why their waters flowed with life so fruitfully and bountifully.

- Warren Wiersbe

I recently read about a preacher who lost his church and local ministry. He had pastored there for twenty-one years, but due to some changes he asked for there rose a conflict. For two years debate raged inside the walls of his parish, and in the end he was asked to leave.

His faults? Well, he used imagination in his preaching and was devoted to his congregation. He also loved theology, but recognized that he had to first address the matters of the heart before the mind was changed.

But the real nitty gritty happened when he started to address sin openly. He started to ask for accountability and a Christian lifestyle that bore fruit. He started to examine customs and traditions, such as the partaking of Holy Communion by non-believers. He had a deep desire to see people have a personal relationship with God rather than a "country club" of tradition and ritual. . .

and that's what did him in.

He refused to accomodate his theology just to get results, and it cost him so many friends and his position. He cared too much about siding with truth for the good of his congregation, and even though he was deeply wounded by their rejection, he stayed true to his doctrine and continued to write and preach about the possibility for each of us to have our own spiritual awakening.

Our own personal relationship with God.

Our own sins forgiven.

Our own passions awakened for the Divine.

Our own ability to hear the call to ministry and to follow.

And when I read that story, it chilled me. We are in such a dangerous place in today's world. Our society has come such a long way from the good ole' days it seems.

Or has it?

Not really.

See, that pastor I just described is none other than Jonathan Edwards. THE Jonathan Edwards. One of the most influential Christian minds in American History. An instigator in our nation's own historical Great Awakening.

And the year he was thrown out of his church?

1750.

259 years ago . . .

The place?

Northampton, MA.

He took over the church in 1729, and immediately found a society that treated church as a perfunctory pastime. It was so bad, that they had what were called Halfway Covenants. This was for people who had been baptized as a child, but made no current profession of faith. They were considered to be baptized into the family of God, but couldn't vote. They sinned openly, but were part of a covenant with the church.

Many of the local preachers were persons who attended schools of religious study, but they themselves had no idea or concern for a personal relationship with God or abstaining from sin. George Whitefield, a friend of Edwards', said of the current situation, "the reason why congregations have been so dead is because dead men preach to them". (I see this happening today, in current economic conditions, where the Masters of Divinity program is currently at the top of the list for people who are going back to graduate school.)

So these churches were filled with people who spoke the lingo but had no idea about what it meant to be saved and to actually LIVE the life and abundance Christ offers.

Sound familiar?

I'm amazed at how little has changed. I'm both encouraged by what Edwards later became and a little disheartened by what he had to go through. Sometimes we think that these champions of the faith were untouchable, but in reality they were you and I. They simply did their best to believe, follow, and disciple. And it was rarely easy like we want to think that it was.

The perfunctory pastime approach is still alive and well. Some of us still play church. We show up on Sunday. We smile. We hide our true emotions. We do our best to keep the preacher from speaking to our hearts. We sin without guilt. We try to keep Christianity an intellectual idea only, so we can rationalize a million other things to prioritize before it.

And then we wonder why we can't breathe.

God never asked to be one of our priorities. He is our LIFE. Our AIR that we breathe, in a spiritual sense.

The funny thing is that all of this is for our own good. The mind of Christ, the wonder of baptism, the personal relationship, and the accountability is for our own good. Jonathan Edwards never spent a day asking himself, "what can I do today that will bring irreparable damage to my congregation?". Neither does your pastor. They are simply living the doctrine. Living the evident Truth. Shining a light into darkness.

All of it is for our own good, and for us to reject it is like a child throwing a temper-tantrum. We hold our breath, and kick until we pass out. Only to wake again to the same questions, the same principles, and the same Gospel staring us in the face.

It's time to breathe again. Be an instrument of change in your church. Live your faith! Present evangelism based on sound, biblical doctrine. You may get thrown out, but you can also change the world!

© Copyright Derek Hickman 2009

Pretence becomes Reality

Today is the first day of my life that I find myself a full-time pastor.

I have left my job as an investment consultant, and I am now the Minister of Music and Youth (my official title) at the Winchester First United Methodist Church. I am excited about the opportunities in these ministries. They have so much promise . . .

But I'm also feeling trepidatious, to a certain degree. That is normal, I guess, but this week has been especially difficult. The Church will pay me well, but not quite enough for us to live on. So I was waiting on news of a job in town. The interviews were promising, and I felt I had a good chance to get the job.

I didn't.

Lots of people were praying and fasting for me. Tara and I have been prayed up and obedient. Things were looking up, but God said "No", and that's ok. Our testimony isn't really viable if we can't trust Him with the big picture.

But that doesn't mean it's not difficult. Sometimes we all get tired of trusting, and would REALLY like to just know what is around the corner.

So right now, life is an adventure that we really haven't signed up for. Honestly, everyday has been an exploration into finding where our next meal is coming from. And every day, God has provided for us in really weird, unexpected ways.

This morning, I was coming back from the store, and I was talking to God. In the middle of our conversation I had an "aha" moment and said something like this . . . "God, there is one area I feel that you have no idea what it's like to be human, and that's the area of our limited view. I feel that you can't really understand what it's like to not know how you are going to pay your bills next week, or how you are going beat back depression when your electricity is shut off while you are walking out the door to go to church and minister to people."

We've all been there. Let's just be honest. We put on our masks and tell everyone that we are doing great, but that's not true all of the time.

And yes, pastors go through this stuff too!

So, sitting in my driveway, I ended my conversation with God by getting what I thought was the last word. I said something like, "Even Jesus Your son, God in the flesh, had no sin, no fear, and no worry. He knew your will for Him, and that excludes 90% of us because we don't really don't know. It is constantly being revealed, day after day after day . . . and we have to try our best not to sin, or fear, or worry"

Then I went inside to eat my bologna sandwich with the family.

After lunch, I talked with Tara about our plans for the day, and then I walked into the living room. We have a book cabinet there, where our favorite books are kept. Without knowing why, I walked to the cabinet, opened it up and removed a devotional called "A Year With C.S. Lewis".

I haven't opened that book in over a year. I opened it up and it literally fell open to today's date, June 27th. Here is what I read:

Pretence Becomes Reality

You see what is happening. The Christ Himself, the Son of God who is man (just like you) and God (just like His Father) is actually at your side and already at this moment beginning to turn your pretence into a reality.

This is not merely a fancy way of saying that your conscience is telling you what to do . . . for you are no longer thinking simply about right and wrong; you are trying to catch the good infection from a Person. It is more like painting a portrait than like obeying a set of rules . . .

The real Son of God is at your side. He is beginning to turn you into the same kind of thing as Himself. He is beginning, so to speak, to "inject" His kind of life and thought, His Zoe, into you; beginning to turn the tin soldier into a live man.

The part of you that does not like it is the part that is still tin.

- from Mere Christianity

© Copyright Derek Hickman 2009

The Problem With Grace

This is difficult for me to write. Not because I'm the only one. If I were the only one, then maybe I could accept it a little easier. I could try harder, and dig in a littler deeper. I could discipline myself more. I could will myself to change. I could chant "Yes, we can" over and over and it would actually help. But it doesn't.

I'm not alone here. In fact, I'm one among many . . . I'm one included. We are all together in this scenario. No exceptions.

We are united by Grace.

That fact presents a different mindset and at the same time gives us an epiphany on the human condition.

We can do NOTHING to improve our image or reputation in God's eyes. We are valuable only because He places value on us. Nothing we do can ever change that.

To be sure, our choices do have consequences, and we pay dearly for the good or the bad things we do, and also for other's choices (unfortunately). Everything we do has an effect. Our actions are so powerful to even change the world!

But they can't change Grace.

By Grace, God gives us an equality without human measurement. Grace is so amazing, and I know the blessings we all receive from His goodness. So, since we all enjoy the same placement, you'd think I'd be more OK with the situation? But to be honest, I'm not always OK with it. Sometimes I struggle to accept the fact that I cannot change God's view of me.

When I look at my torn, ragged record, I despair in my flesh. I want to do everything I can to fix my past, to right my wrongs. But Grace says I can't do enough to deserve its favor.

We are so conditioned by our culture. We have all been well-indoctrinated in the intricacies of justice, fairness, and personal responsibility . . . and choice . . . and consequence.

So on this side of the discussion, the hard facts of my life dictate that I constantly prove myself. I do my best to take care of my family. I work hard to make money. I set an expectation of excellence in what I do, and review my strengths and weaknesses to see what I need to work on.

I'm in control.

But then comes this new formula that nullifies that mindset, and obliterates my hard work = success ethic. In fact, this formula nullifies my entire ethical process. I can't be ethical enough to get the desired result. There's no way for me to have X + Y = Value.

That's the problem with Grace.

It is entirely based on His view of us . . . that intrinsic value He alone gives. We can't manipulate the numbers in any way to promote ourselves. He alone works the formula. It is simply beyond our concept.

Grace tells us that God gives us more than we can ever earn, and that offends our flesh because our physical rules of engagement require nothing but the works of the flesh.

It's just another classic story of Freedom vs. Pharisaism.

Thus, the reason for my discomfort.


© Copyright Derek Hickman 2009

This Place Is Death!

This year, 2009, has been a year of Death.

Six weeks ago, we heard the tragic news of a college friend who lost his wife and two young children in an accident. His whole family gone, with no goodbyes . . . no warning.

Yesterday we received the news that this friend, devastated by grief, has taken his life.

Just this week, a local business man lost his life to cancer . . . his young family is in so much pain.

A lady lies dying in a hospital bed tonight. Her heart is failing her. My father is her pastor. Two years ago, her husband walked around the back of his house to their shed. He hung himself. No goodbyes. No warning. She's been living with this every day . . .

Three weeks ago, another college acquaintance lost his 7-year-old daughter to tragedy. She coughed really hard, went to her mommy, and died in her arms.

Tragic. Devastating. Senseless. Illogical.

We ask the obvious question, "Where is God in tragedy?" "Why does this happen?"

I was watching the series LOST online the other day, and I was struck by the title of the episode - "This Place Is Death!" With everything going on in our lives, with all of these tragic events, I identified with the character who, in the throes of madness, begs the people around her to stay far away from this place, to never come back.

This Place Is Death.

I am a youth pastor. This year we are tackling the hard questions each of these teens are facing. I asked that all of them write down a question that they or one of their classmates have been struggling with. One of the questions was, "Why does God allow good people to die?".

I don't know.

Of course, I can come up with a theological answer that includes "we are all appointed to die" or something about rain and the just vs. the unjust. But the truth is that I'm not God, and I don't have a clue why good people with great futures and wonderfully effective ministry's are taken.

I am grieved, but when that happens I have taught myself a peculiar habit . . . I try to see the situation through God's eyes. This is dangerous if we are not ready and willing trust Him with what we find, because we so often don't know Him like we think we do. In difficult, tragic situations, the answers we find are more often than not extremely demanding in their nature. They can require a level of trust that we may not necessarily be ready to give at this time. Many times we must finish the grieving process before we can delve deeper into Who God is in this situation.

The World Death Rate is cycled as follows . . .

1.78 people die each second

107 people die each minute

6,390 people die each hour

153,000 people die each day

56,000,000 people die each year

3,900,000,000 people will die during our lifetime (average of 70 years)

Think about these numbers . . . they are staggering aren't they? Look at them again; slower this time. Now think about this . . .

God sees every one of them, and not only does He see them, He cares infinitely about them in a way you and I can never fathom. He is with each one of those people every second of their life. He is loving each one of them at every choice, with every relationship, at every belief opportunity, in every trial, during every triumph . . .

in every tragedy.

Where is God in tragedy?

God was with my friend's wife and two children when they breathed their last.

He was with my friend as he sat in his car, clutching his child's stuffed animal, grieving to the end.

God was with our local businessman as he succumbed to cancer, his family by his side, our church's prayer vigil outside his door.

God is with my father's parishioner as she lays dying tonight.

He was with her husband as he hung himself.

God held that precious 7-year-old girl as she lay dying in her mother's arms.

Matthew 11:28-30 says, “Come to me, all you that are weary and are carrying heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me; for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”

2nd Corinthians 4:17 talks about this "lightness". It says, "For the lightness of our present affliction works out for us a far more excellent eternal weight of glory".

The finite being compared to the infinite.

It boggles my mind, and it's so hard to comprehend! How can tragedy be compared to the "lightness" of a burden? But we really have to believe that either God is an insane lunatic puppet master in love with the macabre, or He is wiser and bigger and more loving and merciful than we can comprehend.

Things are out of balance. Things are off-kilter. We see so well that Life is not what it should be because this is us compared to the redeemed world we long for. But this is where we are NOW. This is what we know. We see the emptiness, the hole, and despise the tragedy. We see the offensive and the pain, and our reaction is to do everything we can to immediately right the wrong. We do our best to reverse the curse. We live in a fallen world, and so desperately want to lift ourselves out of this darkness. We see the downside all to clearly. And we mourn. We sob. We ask where God is in all of this . . .

God is here. He, who walks with our loved ones through The Valley of the Shadow of Death, holding their hand, is also here in our pain. We mourn because we lose. We lose someone we love so much, and ask how He could allow this.

Then we see through God's eyes.

We see Christ on the Cross.

Normally this image would bring a mixed sense of joy and awe, because of what we know about our Savior . . .

But then we see something different. We see the shift as God turns his back on the very sin that is killing His Son. We feel the incredible shame that sin brings, so heavy that it turns day into night. We see a child ask His Father "why?". We feel the deafening silence.

And then we realize that God knows . . . He knows what we go through. He knows what a parent goes through when a child dies. He knows the agony a wife feels when confronted by the tragic suicide of her husband. He knows the betrayal we feel when we have been torn apart by others, because He went through it.

Christ knows because He has tasted death.

And it is here that we have an incredible opportunity! We can now see both sides of the the death experience.

A Father's heart broken, and a Son's heart pierced.

We now have an advocate on both sides of sin's curse. And we start to understand what He sees when He hands us the keys to Comfort.

2 Corinthians1:3-4 says, "What a wonderful God we have. He is the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the source of every mercy, and the one who so wonderfully comforts and strengthens us in our hardships and trials. And why does He do this? So that when others are troubled, needing our sympathy and encouragement, we can pass on to them this same help and comfort God has given us."

2Thessalonians 2:16-17 says, "May our Lord Jesus Christ himself AND God our Father, who has loved us and given us everlasting comfort and hope which we don't deserve, comfort your hearts with all comfort, and help you in every good thing you say and do."

In my grief, I'm trying to see through God's eyes.

I see God's mercy. I see God there with us each second on our journey to and from tragedy. I see His goodness triumphant through us, as we take our experiences and use them to comfort others. I see that tragedy turns to triumph, lived out in our Hope.

I see sin in a constant state of defeat.

I don't know why good people are taken by tragedy. I don't know why the innocent are buried way too soon. Some may say this place is death, and they would be right. But in no other place is death more symbolized than in an old rugged cross at Calvary.

And it is there I see Deliverance.




© Copyright Derek Hickman 2009

Peace! Peace? Peace. (Re-post)

This is one of the first blogs I wrote, back in 2007. It seems appropriate right now in my life to re-post this. I feel a little like I'm in a dream, and peace is somewhat elusive these past few days. I find comfort in the following Truth:

I have found that in our life, with its ups and downs (emotionally, physically, spiritually, etc), there are different punctuation marks in our times of peace, or different types of peace we have.
There are the highs of life, when all is working well, where family and friendships are good. These are times when peace is an exclamation point on a great day or week or month. These are times when favor is bestowed upon you, seemingly out of nowhere. People love you, life is grand, and success lays out the red carpet. I enjoy these times because they are so few. Their effect, however is felt and remembered for years. Aaahh . . . . Peace!

Then there are the parts of life's timeline where we wonder where and what peace is. When nothing seems to go right. When we wonder if being a colossal failure at everything is just our lot in life. When we wonder, "Could this be all there is? Am I really this weak and stupid?" These are the times of conflict when we are tempted to believe God doesn't care. These are the times when we feel "out of favor" with our Creator. These times are hard to pull out of. The question mark looms over us . . . Peace?

Finally, if we are faithful in our highs and lows, we come through them to a deeper knowledge of who God is. If we continue to get up when we fall, to still obey when we struggle, to trust when we can't find immediate answers, we will have survived the mental tests and realize what God-given peace actually is.

This is a peace that rests in the knowledge of who God is, not what He does. This peace finds Truth in any situation, good or bad. This peace is a plain statement. Nothing affects its place. Nothing moves its meaning. This peace remains a straight line, as unchanging as God Himself, because it is sent from God Himself.

This peace is the best kind, because God is happiest when we can look up through the smoke of spiteful circumstance and still trust. We can look up when have been blessed with success beyond our wildest dreams and trust Him WITH IT. This peace says "God is enough", regardless. In this time we now know what true peace is. It is peace . . . period . . . Peace.

This timeline is part of our process. God leads us to and through each phase, building us as we go, leading us to what He wants us to become. It does take time, but the time it takes is really different for each person, and God ordains it. He knows all and plans all. Sometimes I become frustrated when I am not "learning" fast enough, compared to others. But I have come to realize that God is leading each of us individually, at His pace.

He uses everyone, and surprisingly enough, the weak are his first choice. Take heart in whatever part of your life you are. He will lead you to His fulfillment.

Peace.
© Copyright Derek Hickman 2007

Apples, Crumbs,and Intrinsic Value

I'm sick. It's one of those feverish, achy, stomach churning viruses that wears you out but doesn't let you sleep. I think the fever's gone, but the stomach thing won't let me go . . .

So I'm sitting here. On the floor. Looking at my computer screen. It's 2:19 a.m.

Around me are the markings of a 22-month-old.

Next to my computer, on the coffee table, are the scattered remains of Reagan's bedtime snack, or "Chux" as he calls the Chex cereal we put in a bowl for him to munch while he plays with "MommyDaddy". On the floor next to the coffee table lies a bag of apples he dragged in from the kitchen, demanding "mappels". I know, the kid can eat. You have no idea . . .

I love him so much!

When he smiles, the room lights up. When he cries, his precious cheeks are stained with tears of deep sorrow, or so it seems to him! I pick him up and kiss the tears away no matter what, no matter how deeply wronged he feels he has been by his older siblings.

My heart aches when he actually does get hurt, and I can hardly stand to let him learn "the hard way", although sometimes it has to be done . . . for his own good.

Sometimes I feel like a child myself when I help him with something so simple as putting his shoes on. Sometimes I see God in his little face, in his action, and in his wonderment. I've seen the hardened faces of strangers soften when they look into his curious eyes. I've seen the stern gaze of a great grandpa turn to warm affection when Reagan smiles at him. Even on my most discouraging days, the thought of him brings joy, and even peace to me. He loves me unconditionally . . .

He's my boy. My beloved son. I would die for him in a heartbeat. No hesitation.

Not because of how successful I think he will someday become. Not because he's good all the time. Not because he's perfect. He's not. Yes, he's adorable and incredibly cute, but that's not the reason either.

He's my son. My "Creation" if you will. His value is intrinsic and God-given. I also love him unconditionally, as any Father does. I place value on him because of what he means to me. He's mine.

Sound familiar?

Tonight I saw a 28-year-old woman get robbed. She was scammed, destitute, and totally hopeless. Stranded by the very person she had just helped. He took her purse, some other incidentals, and a huge part of her self-worth. She was dirty and worn from traveling for hours. She had no money to get back home to Mississippi. He had promised her payment for a ride that had now cost her everything.

Sitting at the stop sign, I saw it happen. I watched him and some friends take everything she had, hurriedly shove it in another car's trunk, and drive off while she was in the station buying coolant for her radiator.

I watched her come out of the store and totally lose it when she realized what had happened. I saw her devalued. I saw her devastation. I saw her lose hope. I saw their actions telling her what she had been trying so hard to fight, for so many years now . . . "You're worthless" "You're a loser" "You've failed again" "Nobody cares".

And I thought of God . . . the Father.

She is His. His beloved daughter. He would die for her in a heartbeat. No hesitation. In fact, He already has.

Not because of how successful she may someday become. Not because she's good all the time. Not because she's perfect. Not because she is happy and has an attractive personality. To be honest, she wasn't in the best frame of mind at the time. Not because she's made all the right choices with her life. She obviously hasn't.

She's his child. His "Creation" if you will. Her value is intrinsic and God-given. God loves her unconditionally, as any Father does. She has a place of value because of what she means to Him. She's His. She is valuable. No other reason is necessary!

I helped her as best as I could. We put her up in a hotel for the night through our church emergency outreach. I helped her report the crime to police, since I had seen it and was fortunate enough to write down the license plate number of the getaway car. I gave her some money for food and gas to get to Mississippi.

That was the least I can do, and probably the last time I will ever see her. I helped her temporarily, but that's not what impacted her the most. What mattered most, what softened her hardened face, what dried her tears, what changed her hurt and anger to hope . . . was when she looked into the face of another child and saw God.

"You are special to me" "You are worth it" "You are incredibly valued" "You are loved . . . unconditionally".

So sitting here with the crumbs of my life around me, I realize so deeply the love of our Father. We are so valuable to Him. Not one of us is better or closer or more deserving than anyone else, no matter what we've done, good or bad. Our intrinsic value doesn't change in His eyes. Markets fall and rise, circumstances come and go, but our value stays the same.

Romans 5:8 - "But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us".

You are worth it.

© Copyright Derek Hickman 2009

"I Can't . . . ."

I've been thinking about the phrase "I can't . . ."

We use this phrase so often to describe something that we actually can do. We just don't put out the effort to actually do it, for a variety of very logical reasons. So we just say "I can't . . .", and no one bothers to question the validity of our statement.

I can't lose weight

I can't pay my bills

I can't eat healthy

I can't love my spouse like I should

I can't afford to give

I can't play with my children

I can't discipline my children

I can't clean my house

I can't create a budget

I can't live like I want

I can't live like I believe

I can't be nice to him or her

I can't be entirely faithful

BECAUSE (And then there's the excuse that follows)

I don't have the time

I don't have the energy

I'm sick

I'm too busy

I can't get any help

I'm too scared

I'm not smart enough

No one cares

I'm too poor

I'm too stressed

They won't let me

Some of these reasons/excuses are true at a specific point of time, but should never be used to explain away an entire area of life that should be managed wisely. We can be healthy. We can manage our lives. We can love each other. We can pay our bills. We can do all of these things, but an incredible thing has happened. We have lobotomized ourselves as a society. In this "fast food" era, we have become more enamored with the Reward than with the Requirements of the reward. We look at something we want, and say "I'll have that please, with a side of self-worth".

Then we wait . . . and wait . . . and wait, and the longer we wait, the more disillusioned we become. We go about life, all the while becoming more frustrated and depressed, and we don't really know why. We really are sheep!

It's asinine. We are becoming a people who wait for what never comes. It's like a farmer walking out to his fields at harvest and saying, "Where's my crop?" while having not planted a single seed.

This society has refused to play by the rules. We have asked for the equation of life to be disassembled. We only want the result, when the reality is that the principles of success remain constant. Simply put, X(desire) + Y(work) = Reward! It doesn't read X(desire) = Reward! That formula is totally devoid of logic, and that's exactly where we find ourselves today. We have thrown away the steps and are devastated that we can't reach the top.

Yes, it's absurd, but the fact that we have such a large membership roster allows our absurdity to hide behind the chaos. We are the vast majority, so it is hard to see forest for the trees, until an occasional person stands out. Then we notice. Then we are in awe of his or her SUCCESS. The real absurdity is that our chaotic lives are a direct result of our lack of principle and standards for living. In fact, one could ask where all the standards have gone. We refuse to acknowledge these all-important axioms, therefore many of us feel stupid and miserable, like the universe is plotting against us.

Self indulgence can create an epidemic of apathy . . . an "I can't" mentality, and we all are effected. The successful few are those who break away and take the phrase "I can't . . ." to put it in its proper, logical place:

I can't live like this any longer

I can't accept any thing less than what God gives and I know there's more

I can't accept apathy in my life, my family, or my church

The successful person understands the equation, that there are God-given principles that guarantee our success. I would actually go so far as to say that these principles play a role in the abundant life that Christ has promised us . . . at least to a certain extent in the physical realm. Paul even talks about running the race before us when applying these concepts to our Spiritual journey. The successful person is one who trusts that these principles work and believes them to be axioms of abundance, self-evident truths that work when applied to our belief systems and therefore affect our actions and produce abundant results. It's simple . . . on paper. In real life, it takes a disciplined mind to go against the flow, to say "I can't take this anymore!" and "I will change!" instead of joining the chorus of defeatism.

If we want to lose weight, then we exercise and eat right. We can do that. If we want to have healthy relationships with each other and God, then we put in the time to spend on other people and the Kingdom. We can do that. If we want to be financially independent, then we pay off our debt through hard work and sacrifice, and live a slave to no man. We can do that.

We have to apply these axioms to our lives. Yes, it takes time. Yes, it takes work. But look at your life now. You spend lots of time and work really hard . . . for what? Depression? Frustration? "I can't"?

I love this song by Switchfoot . . .

Fumbling his confidence
And wondering why the world has passed him by
Hoping that he's bet for more than arguments
And failed attempts to fly
Fly

We were meant to live for so much more
Have we lost ourselves?
Somewhere we live inside
Somewhere we live inside
We were meant to live for so much more
Have we lost ourselves?
Somewhere we live inside

Dreaming about Providence
And whether mice or men have second tries
Maybe we've been living with our eyes half open
Maybe we're bent and broken
Broken

We were meant to live for so much more
Have we lost ourselves?
Somewhere we live inside
Somewhere we live inside
We were meant to live for so much more
Have we lost ourselves?
Somewhere we live inside

We want more than this world's got to offer
We want more than this world's got to offer
We want more than the wars of our fathers
And everything inside screams for second life
Yeah

We were meant to live for so much more
Have we lost ourselves?
We were meant to live for so much more
Have we lost ourselves?
We were meant to live for so much more
Have we lost ourselves?
We were meant to live
(We were meant to live)
We were meant to live


For God and King!

Peace.

© Copyright Derek Hickman 2008

I Believe . . .

Belief is so important, and so is Perception. Both, however, tend to make reality a relative concept, and have absolutely no effect on what is actually True or False. Truth stands regardless of what goes on around it, or what we believe or perceive about it. It just is. It is factual to the nth degree . . . and farther.

In the current hurricane of opinion and relativism, Truth remains unmoved, unbending, and unaffected. However, when everything else is moving and shifting, we can get caught up with the current wave of thought, and lose our vision. It is because of this lack of focus that we sometimes have trouble discerning Truth. This is why it is so important to have a proper foundation of thought and focus. Our beliefs and perceptions must be founded on Truth, otherwise we lose the race before we even start our engines.

Recently, I had additional cause to examine my Belief System. Someone, who has been reading my blog, suggested that I may have some foundational issues based on my writings. I am open to constructive criticism, which I know this was, and thought about their comments long and hard. In fact, I really appreciate what was said, because it reminded me that my writings are always based on my perception and beliefs, and those perceptions and beliefs are not always placed on the page for all to see as the foundation for my comments. I stand by my words that I've written, but am aware that they can be viewed in different ways based on (once again) different perceptions and beliefs. So this became an opportunity to review my foundation, to examine whether or not my Belief System is founded on Truth.

Here is what I've come up with so far (off the top of my head):

I Believe

-There is one TRUE God above all gods, Creator of Heaven and Earth and all there is.

-In Jesus Christ, His only Son, who died and was resurrected from death to (1)Pay our debt in full as a complete propitiation, and (2)Heal our broken hearts, thus giving us complete wholeness for living an abundant life in and of His Spirit within us.

-That our hearts are healed by the redemption of Christ, but that our minds must/will be changed over time by the Spirit's leading. Repentance = A change of Mind. I believe this is what Romans 12 is talking about. We can surrender all to Him, and should, but the value of total surrender is solely defined by what we actually know to surrender. In my life this is a continuous process. God leads us and shows us by revelation the areas of our minds/beliefs/perceptions that need to surrender to Him. He is so patient with me! Through my daily sacrifice of my will and by the faith He has given me, I am being transformed to show what He has made me for, as a part of His perfect plan.

-That God is indeed know-able, but only as far as He reveals Himself through the Word and the Spirit. This again, is a process that He leads us through . . . and I'm convinced that this process will last forever! That's how unfathomably deep He is.

-That we have an enemy. He is the prince of this age, and seems so powerful compared to our physical strength. It is important to realize, however, that his wickedness is not to be placed on the opposite spectrum of Gods' Holiness. My father used this riddle to prove this point when I was a child. "Black is to White as Satan is to _______ ? Everyone I've asked that question of has answered "God". The answer is Michael the Archangel(a powerful angel who has battled Satan in the past. Some believe he is the angel mentioned in Revelation 20, who throws the dragon into the abyss). Yes, we have an enemy, and we must fight him, but we must never equate him as an equal opposite to God. Nothing is or can be.

-That denominational religion is an overall absolute failure because we have ended up focusing on each other and our personal preferences for ministry instead of being led by God's Spirit to love the world and present the true Gospel. The word denomination means "walled fortress" to me, a place that creates a great separation between believers, let alone the huge chasm between the church and the lost. We are divided as Christians because of this. I have yet to see two churches communicate and work together without these "walls" playing a powerful role.

-In the total inerrant Truth of Scripture, and its absolute viability in any circumstance or time period.

-We live in a fallen world that God is constantly redeeming to Himself. Christ's death not only started His redemption in us, but cemented the process of "using all things for the good of those who love Him". Our planet, our ecosystems, our circumstances, and our personal lives are all used for His glory and our good!

-We reap the rewards of our actions.

-People are extremely valuable. It doesn't matter what you've done, what you look like, what you believe, what your perception is, how we feel about each other, how we see God . . . we are all extremely valuable because He has placed value upon us. No other reason suffices. He loves us regardless of . . . anything. We are valuable to Him, therefore we should be valuable to each other.

-Everybody is on the same level when it comes to spiritual opportunity and worth. No one is better than the other. Rich or poor, popular or behind the scenes - God loves us all. We have to have that approach to be effective in ministry. Always remember where you come from, what you've done against God, and how He's forgiven you.

-Our beliefs affect our thoughts, which in turn affect our choices, which in turn affect our actions. Belief Systems are incredibly powerful, which is why Jesus tells us to repent and believe the Gospel. . . The Kingdom of Heaven is at hand. Turn around and welcome the Kingdom of God! Change your mind and see the Kingdom at hand! Base your Belief System on Truth . . .

-I am a total failure but for God's grace. I've proven it true! I am constantly learning about myself through His amazing patience and Spirit. I can do nothing good without His blessing.

-That faithfulness is the key to being blessed. Do what is righteous no matter what the circumstance. God searches for the faithful. He blesses those who are are. This directly ties to the principle of giving. The more you give, the more you receive.

-I am able, through God's help, to live faithfully, for His glory, at each decision point of my life.

-That my issues with God (yes, we all have issues . . . admit it!) are a direct result from my limited view of His will and overall picture. I used to allow my issues to build walls between us, but He has shown me that I need to use those issues to actually build a bridge of discussion instead of a wall of silence. This belief alone will most likely save my soul. Silence = No relationship, and a prolonged focus on the issue, not Holiness. Discussion = Relationship and the ability to learn and conform to the image of Christ.

-I am loved.

-I love you.

Peace.


© Copyright Derek Hickman 2008

Caught In The Middle?

I am constantly amazed. We know so much about our fallen nature, yet still struggle so heavily with the idea of Self vs. Selfishness.

If you really think about it, there is a constant un-civil war going on in our souls (our minds, insight, emotions, and wills). Everything around us tells us to either "man up" and take charge of our destiny, or to give up and give in to fate. We are being tempted . . . by pretty much everything around us.

How do we live "in" the world and not "of" the world? I think I have a pretty good grasp of this concept, but then God shows me more of my true Self He wants, and the current regime doesn't line up very well . . . I'm trying to control my control, and find myself having issues with my issues.

This song blew me away this morning:

Somewhere between the hot and the cold
Somewhere between the new and the old
Somewhere between who I am and who I used to be
Somewhere in the middle, You'll find me

Somewhere between the wrong and the right
Somewhere between the darkness and the light
Somewhere between who I was and who You're making me
Somewhere in the middle, You'll find me

Just how close can I get, Lord, to my surrender
without losing all control

Fearless warriors in a picket fence,
reckless abandon wrapped in common sense

Deep water faith in the shallow end
and we are caught in the middle

With eyes wide open to the differences,
the God we want and the God who is

But will we trade our dreams for His
or are we caught in the middle

Are we caught in the middle

- Casting Crowns ("Somewhere In The Middle")

We have failed to trust Him with everything. Logically, it makes perfect sense to surrender ALL to the God who wants and gives the best for us. But we still struggle with our flesh, with our need for control. We still want to call the shots.

God gave me this verse earlier this week:

I Peter 1:13-17 - "Therefore, prepare your minds for action, keep sober in spirit, fix your hope completely on the grace to be brought to you at the revelation of Jesus Christ. As obedient children, do not be conformed to the former lusts which were yours in your ignorance, but like the Holy One who called you, be holy yourselves also in all your behavior; because it is written, "YOU SHALL BE HOLY, FOR I AM HOLY." If you address as Father the One who impartially judges according to each one's work, conduct yourselves in fear during the time of your stay on earth."

I am deeply convicted. I am ashamed. I repent.

I surrender.

© Copyright Derek Hickman 2008

We Don't Know Him . . .

I have come upon a disturbing realization. We have been misinformed. We have been duped. We have been given tainted information . . . by ourselves.

We don't know Him. Not really. Not at all like we know each other. We think we know Him, and that is a big mistake. We know things about Him; things He has specifically given us to have a proper relationship with Him. That is entirely different than knowing Him. Even a relationship with Him is different than our earthly relationships. Much more trust is involved on our part, simply because we are far too limited to grasp who He is, and what He is capable of.

I cringe when I hear preachers unequivocably promise His intervention in our tragedy, in our pain and suffering, in our circumstance. I am troubled by the "prosperity" gospel I am hearing. We don't know Him well enough to promise things on His behalf. What if He chooses not to intervene? He has and He will. More often than not, tragedy continues. Pain and suffering are alleviated occasionally, when He wills it. We live in a fallen world. Sooner or later our perceptions meet the reality of WHAT WE DON'T KNOW. We don't know Him well enough to predict deliverance at this or that point of time. His ways are not our ways. His plans are not our plans. Our picture is totally different than His picture . . . it's not even comparable.

The problem is, we think we do know Him. That's where we dupe ourselves. That's where the "Sunday School Syndrome" comes into play. Remember all of the great stories we heard as kids in Sunday School? Those are great examples of God's power and might, displayed in Scripture. We enjoy these as children, smile at them as teenagers, then cling to them as adults.

We cling to them selfishly. When we can't pay our bills, when we can't feed our family, when we can't get what we wanted or expected, we point at Him. We ask why. We wonder where He is. Where is this God who takes care of everyone else? Is there something wrong with me? Why is He allowing this to happen?

This sounds harsh, but we need to get over ourselves. It's not about us. It's not about our ill-bred perceptions. It's about Him and His glory.

The only sure thing we have to cling to is the Gospel. His Word has become flesh and lived among us. We have seen the revealed Christ, our Messiah. We cling to that. We know that. We can stand on that. The rest is Him being who He IS. He doesn't fit in our box; not even in our book.


We know He loves us. That is unquestionable, and the resulting salvation is the foundation for our worship. He sent His son to die. He offers freedom from ourselves and sin. He is our Creator. These things we know from his Word. But we don't know Him like we think we do.

He's not the pious, soft, starchy God we so often think He is. No, He's wild. Untameable. Unpredictable. More than we can imagine. Just because He loves us so much, doesn't mean He is in any way "lesser" . . . even though we are. That's the great mystery of Grace. It is in no way safe, yet provides us the ultimate safety . . . from His wrath.

C.S. Lewis says, "'Safe?'...'Who said anything about safe? 'Course he isn't safe. but he's good.'"

He's good.

Take a weekend off and away. Look upward on a clear night. Stand face to face with a wild elk. Better yet, walk on the moon, as some have. It won't take long to see that we don't know Him like we think we do. He's bigger, and it is in this fact that I find my comfort. We don't know Him. We can't, really. He's bigger than our thought process. We are so small that we can't even be compared to Him, yet he compared Himself to us, even so far as to allow Himself to taste death . . . for us.

The Relevant loves the irrelevant. The Triune loves the trivial. The Creator loves the created.

We don't know Him . . . but He knows us, and loves us regardless. And this truth eliminates all fear.

That's enough for me to say "Thy will be done".

© Copyright Derek Hickman 2008

Teen Fire

Those of you who know me well know that some of my greatest joys in life are found in music and youth ministry. I have recently, as of September 1st, taken over a youth program at the Winchester First United Methodist Church. I'm usually the kind of guy who hits the ground running, so that's exactly what I did.

In the last month, we have added our own version of small groups to Sundays, calling it the "Sunday Night Breakaway". It is there that we practice team building and our Word Up moment (a short devotional focusing on our relationship with God), followed by small groups that split the girls and guys up by grade level. Here is the banner I just had made to hang on the outside of the church:









Our main campus (the First UMC church building) has developed a satellite church at our local theater across town on Sundays at 9 a.m. Our Teen Fire logo is based on their logo:








We have also "taken over" the local coffee house on main street from 6-8 p.m. on Tuesday nights. The owner is a lady I know from singing there occasionally. She was so kind to let us come in and be loud and boisterous. I call it "The Tuesday Night Special" and it is an informal 2 hours of table games, music videos, great food, great coffee, wii on the big screen, loud music, and a Word Out moment (a short delivery of the Gospel, focusing on our relationship with each other). Rob Bell's NOOMA videos are great, as a side note. We've had numerous kids coming in off of the street to check us out. Last week Brent Vernon, a good friend of mine, was kind enough to come and minister to us. Once per month I have what is called Band of the Month (or artist). Three of us local crazies have formed a band (right now we are calling ourselves The No Names) and we started everything off by performing on 9/23. Brent came on 9/30 and REALLY got us started. His friend Sam was a little rusty but was a smash hit! :)

I've heard that the devil is in the details. Not true. God is in the details. I'm dumbfounded by the incredible amount of work that goes into a successful presentation of Christian fun and outreach. I love the results! Our motto is "Upword Focus, Outward Friendship". I wholly believe that we are all ministers of the Gospel, and that the most effective way we promote the Good News and bring others to Christ is through personal relationship. The whole purpose of the Great Commission lies in Christ's words, "A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another, even as I have loved you, that you also love one another. By this all men will know that you are My disciples . . ." (John 13:34-35)

Our motto is based on His words again, when he quotes Leviticus 19:18, "You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and will all your strength, and with all your mind; and your neighbor as yourself". Upword Focus . . . Outward Friendship.

In the wings, I am also working on a skateboard ministry to local skaters. We have about 200 roaming the streets in our little town. Our High School has about 1800 students. I'm working with the powers that be to create a place where these kids can come to skate; a place that's sanctioned and safe. I'm calling it "Project 360 X Ministries" and will focus on the X-game generation.

All this and two days per week to do it in. I'm busy. Saturdays will come for the X Ministries. That's three days. On paper it looks exhausting. When I'm doing it, it is my joy. When each event is over, I crawl home to rest, then plan for the next one.

Just in what I am now doing, there are three demographics of young people I have to reach out to. I've got:

1. My existing kids, who are churched

2. Those kids who are un-churched, coming in off of the streets on Tuesday nights.

3. The X crowd - the bmx and skater kids.

God is good. I thank Him for the opportunity!

Peace.

Derek

The Holistic God

The more I read, study, listen, and discuss, the less I seem to know. While that can be frustrating (if that's all I focused on), my mind has been continually renewed regarding the incredible nature and nurture of God.

We all know that transformation of the mind is often, and necessarily, painful. That is a transforming concept in and of itself! Once we realize that God is continuously redeeming the chaos of fallen nature, man's strife, our violence, the Enemy's chaos, life's tragedies, sickness . . . . basic pain in general . . . Once we realize He redeems it for our ultimate good, we see through different eyes. We understand. We bear our cross more willingly. We endure because we see the purpose for the pain, which is our ultimate pleasure in God.

I have long studied the body, soul, and spirit. I have come to realize that when one area suffers, every area suffers. I have seen this in my own life, and to be honest with you, I have felt like a 5-year-old trying to juggle steaknives. Disaster!

I recently led worship for a Healing conference with Tommy Hays (Messiah Ministries). Tommy has an excellent insight with Scripture and many of the things he talked about went right along with what I have been studying. I give him credit for opening my eyes to see our "holistic nature". I had some thoughts while I was at the conference and wanted to blog them for discussion.

The term "Holistic" means "emphasizing the importance of the whole and the interdependence of its parts". Interdependence means "Mutually dependent on one another for survival". The importance of the whole summed up by the interdependent parts. This easily represents our different areas of our "person", the whole summed up by our different parts. A scripture comes to mind.

1 Thessalonians 5:23 says, "May God himself, the God of peace, sanctify you through and through. May your whole spirit, soul and body be kept blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ". In my studies of each of these areas of our "person", I can think of numerous commands, principles, and expectations found in Scripture. For example: Jesus gives us three commands/expectations of a Christian.

1. When you pray . . . do so in secret.

2. When you give . . . do not let your right hand know what your left is doing.

3. When you fast . . . do so privately

Why these commands? Why these expectations? Why are we to do these secretly? Why in private? So that what we give the Father in secret may be rewarded in public. So that He can be honored by our wholeness.

1. Praying sets apart/sanctifies our Spirit (allows the Spirit of God to manifest)

2. Giving sets apart/sanctifies our soul (allows our SELF(mind, emotions, etc.) to surrender)

3. Fasting sets apart/sanctifies our body (allows our flesh to be crucified)

What we are commanded to do is to consecrate all three areas of our life to God . . . all the time. To be honest, many of us control our own politics, finances, health, relationships, desires, religion, and keep our Church life separate. I have been guilty of that. We try so hard to "control" ourselves, to be "good stewards" of our lives. We fail miserably unless we first consecrate ourselves, setting apart each area to God, giving Him full control. Only then can we be effective and happy . . . and joyful . . . and at peace. Period.

I have come to realize that we are made in the image of God to the greater detail than we can even imagine. A Triune God has created us in His image, with our own "triune nature" if you will, stressing and "emphasizing the importance of the whole and the interdependence of its parts".

You who are sick, you who are shallow, you who are enslaved by sin, you who are hopeless, you who are wounded . . . let the God who wants you to be WHOLE and AT PEACE sanctify you through and through, healing your entire Spirit, Soul, and Body. This is where true Healing is found . . . at the end of our control.

See, God doesn't want your control. It's like my 18-month-old when he wants to open his sippy cup and fill it with more juice. He can't do it. He tries and tries. Sometimes he cries. It won't happen. I wait until he gives it to me. I fill his cup. God knows you can't do it all. He is waiting to fill our cup.

Our responsibility is NEVER to control our lives. It is ONLY to give Him everything, and He will wait until we do. We must let him sanctify this "triune nature" created in us, so He can make us blameless. We must live up only to these expectations: We must pray. We must give. We must fast.

Let us repent of our pride. Let us repent of our fear. Let us repent of our gluttony. Let us be found blameless. Our God, The Holistic God, yearns to give us Himself . . . entirely, so we can be entirely whole.

Peace.


© Copyright Derek Hickman 2008

S.T.A.N.D. (The Importance Of Pain)

Lately, I've been examining CHANGE in my life. Earlier this year (2008), I told my wife that I felt that God was preparing my heart for something to happen. I told her, "This will be a year of change for us". We felt hopeful and encouraged that maybe God was starting to move in our lives in a new powerful way. We had been praying for His will expectantly, but up to that point nothing had happened (that we could see).

We're still waiting . . . and to be honest, life has been a tad difficult since we felt that initial encouragement. I have learned, however, that God gives us inspiration in spite of our circumstance and that true, effective CHANGE can only come out of CONFLICT. What we are always struggles with what we need to become. This is how life is designed to work in a fallen world. This is how God salvages Creation, using "all things" for His purpose. In fact, the Fall of Man and the resulting gift of Reconciliation is the supreme fulfillment of this principle.

Pain finds its purpose in Pleasure. Failure finds its purpose in Success. Conflict finds its purpose in Change. In this, our Enemy wounds himself. What he means for evil, God gives it a new purpose - to mold us to His image.

God gave me this acronym over a year ago. I'm just now finding where to place it in my life.

S - stop living in Fear of pain or failure
T - take massive action to implement right principles
A - accept each moment as an opportunity to learn and move forward
N - never give up
D - demand ongoing excellence


See, most people know what is right. In fact, the overwhelming frustration I hear when talking about this subject is the fact that we all know what to do - we all know the principles for success - but, for some inexplicable reason, can't force ourselves to do it! I have found that I fear the pain. I fear the failure. I fear the conflict. I never really get to the principle.

God is using this year to CHANGE me, and as usual, it is in an unexpected way.


S.T.A.N.D.


Derek

© Copyright Derek Hickman 2008

There Is A God

I love it when God moves in and through us. It is our deepest fulfillment to have that happen. In my experience, God uses us for two purposes. He uses us to minister to each other as the body of Christ (whether to exhort, admonish, or teach), and He also uses us to show the world who He IS (either by His Story, His Gospel, or our Example).

My fulfillment for several years has been in the area of exhortation. God has used me to encourage other brothers and sisters in Christ towards praise and thankfulness, introspection, and true worship. I love what I do, and for quite some time have longed to do it full-time. God will someday open that door, for sure. Until then, however, He is constantly stretching me, opening my eyes to new avenues of ministry.

Another aspect, less known, has been my ministry to our town's youth. I grew up as a violent, oppressed young man, enslaved by sin and vice. When God changed me, I was drawn toward youth ministry that reached the hardened hearts of the "problem" kids. I remember one of the biggest questions I had was whether or not there even was a God . . . and I was a preacher's kid! Today I frequent the streets of Winchester picking up whoever wants to come to our church. I try to develop those all-important relationships that are necessary for us to impact their hearts and minds.

Some of you know that I've been leading worship at First Fire at Movies 9 on Sunday mornings (for two weeks). That is going well. My prayer is that someone will find God this coming week. I think I'll sing this on Sunday.

There Is A God

(Verse One)
A thousand lonely beacons, a thousand points of light
A thousand burning hearts are reaching for the sky
A million different reasons for us to question why
As the whole world searches for a sign

What if we find Him, what if He's really listening?
What if our sin is what's keeping us apart?
What if the answers are found in Jesus?
What if He's here to heal our hearts?
I know . . . you know . . .

(Chorus)
There is a God, and He cares for you
No matter where you're coming from or what you're going through
There is a God, and He knows our name
He can take this shattered, broken life and make us whole again
When you need someone to love you through it all
There is a God

(Verse Two)
A million different people, a million points of view
A million different reasons, so many things to do
A thousand different roads are here for us to choose
And the whole world searches for the truth

What if we find it, what if we really see Him?
What we start to know this Holy God above?
What if Salvation is only found in Jesus?
What if belief is up to us?
I know . . . you know . . .

(Chorus)

(Bridge)
No matter your failures, no matter your fortune
No matter your strength or the weakness you live in
No matter the walls that you've built to resist Him
No matter the choices you've made

(Chorus)

© Copyright Derek Hickman 2008

What Would Happen If . . . ?

What would happen if we believed, really believed that God uses us? What would happen if we actually fed the hungry? What would happen if we clothed the poor? What would happen if we left church on Sunday and lived by the Spirit’s leading? What would happen if we came to church consistently? What would happen if we gave up our jobs to become exactly what God made us to be?

What would happen if we stopped tearing down people with our words, and instead tore down those strongholds in our minds and hearts; those strongholds that keep us from moving forward . . . that keep us living *life*, instead of living LIFE abundant. What would happen if we prayed for each other’s healing, both in body and spirit? What would happen if we started making right choices with our time and money?

What would happen if we set a precedent of behavior for our family that honored God above all else? What would happen if we said that no matter what, our house will serve God? What would happen if we led our children to the throne on a daily basis? What would happen if we used our incredibly powerful gift of will to dictate how we will live in the world, but not of it? What would happen if we tested God by actually giving tithes and abundant offerings? What would happen if God became our very breath, our very life, instead of a priority that is reserved for Sunday mornings? What would happen if we prayed? What would happen if we lived a spiritual life in a physical world?

What would happen if we started a children’s bus route in the poor section of town? What would happen if we stopped sinning? What would happen if we thought more about clean hearts and minds instead of a clean church? What would happen if we prayed? What would happen if we gave up all of our independence to live in total dependence on God through the Spirit of Christ? What would happen if we would stop being so hard on ourselves?

What would happen if we decided to actually fight in this Spiritual War that we are in? What would happen if we lived on PURPOSE in a PRECARIOUS society? What would happen if we confessed one to another? What would happen if we stopped moving God between a box and a book, and actually allowed the reality of His Kingdom to permeate our mind, body, and soul? What would happen if we really did surrender all?

What would happen if we acted on Truth? What would happen if we actually ran from temptation? What would happen if we took a stand, not as a Condemning church but as a Conduit to Calvary in a world that needs the good news of the Gospel? What would happen if we actually spread that Gospel? What would happen if we developed deep relationships with our neighbors before we asked them to come to church?

What would happen if we stopped watching television programs that promote sin and vice? What would happen if we taught our girls to be modest? What would happen if we taught our boys to be respectful? What would happen if we beat our inner child, you know, the one that screams and cries to have what we want, and when we want it, regardless how stupid it is . . .? What would happen if we became disciplined?

What would happen if we got rid of the need for control found in the hierarchy of Church denomination and instead lived in unity as brothers and sisters in Christ? What would happen if we really got saved and lived a transformed life? What would happen if we used our spiritual gifts? What would happen if we actually had a relationship instead of a ritual, both with God and each other? What would happen if we believed, really believed, that God wants to use us to change our world? What would happen if we changed our mind?!!

What would happen if we put works with faith? What would happen if we put action with belief? What would happen if we perfected faith through works? What would happen if we practiced pure religion and visited orphans and widows in distress? What would happen if we kept ourselves unstained by the world? What would happen if we repented? What would happen if we had a different view about what a church should become? What would happen if we looked past our differences to real, true change? What would happen if we stopped offering mud pies of complacency and started giving God our best?

I saw a T-shirt that showed a sign on a church door. It said, “Church closed. Gone fishing for men. Will return when boat is full”. What would happen if we went fishing?

I heard someone say, "I want to live what I believe!" We already do. Our actions come from our thoughts that come from our beliefs. Take a close look . . . are you happy with the way you live? What would happen if we looked for, chose, and lived the right beliefs?

“Jesus tapped me on the shoulder and said, “Bob, why are you resisting me?” I said, “I’m not resisting you!” He said, “You gonna follow me?” I said, “I’ve never thought of that before!” He said, “When you’re not following me, you’re resisting me.””
– Bob Dylan

“God is a verb.” – Buckminster Fuller

Be transformed . . .

© Copyright Derek Hickman 2008

The Real Revolution

The word "Revolution" is one of the most interesting words I have studied. It is a noun, but its very essence is based on action, movement . . . verbage. There are several different meanings, depending on the context of this word. The root seems to be "revolve", which means to spin in a fixed pattern - usually focused on a central object which it "revolves" around, e.g. the earth's revolutions around the sun. In this context, the word "Revolution" takes on great significance, a very important action that sustains life, that gives opportunity for growth. Since I have become a believer in Christ, I am constantly aware of how the natural order we see is really a supernatural design that tells us so much about who God is and what He wants for us.

But enough of that. For now, I want to dwell on another meaning of this word.

Once again, "Revolution" is a noun that, in its essence, embodies action. However, in this context, it means "The attempt to overthrow one government, and replace it with another". I want to examine this with a spiritual light.

There is an overwhelming majority that still believes we live in a world dominated by the Prince of Darkness. I hear or read on a frequent basis about this church or that youth group hosting a Revolution party or conference with its focus on overthrowing this dominant sin culture we breathe in on a daily basis. Honestly, I don't see any harm with doing that. In fact, if these events help us to retain our focus on our King, then more power to them. However, there is a constant trend in these types of movements that bothers me to some degree. Here's why . . .

I see myself, my family, my brothers and sisters in Christ as being part of a Kingdom. Specifically, a conquering Kingdom where our loyalties lie with Christ our King and High Priest. I know of the "great debate" regarding the Holy Trinity, but let's just simply say that we do our best to glorify our Father by allowing the Spirit of Christ to dwell within us and lead us daily. In essence, we have already won the war and are now being entrusted as stewards of the spoil.

However, I strongly believe we are not living the reality of what we believe and are a part of. I do not think we fully grasp our place and significance in this Kingdom. I know . . . it IS hard to see what must be taken by faith. However, our anointing, our empowerment can only come by a proper belief system about who we are. Let me explain further . . .

Not too long ago, I was part of a meeting with some of the best salesmen in our company. We spent a better part of two hours discussing and debating how we can provide the best possible experience for our customers while getting our goals met. Anyone who knows great sales ethics knows that our goal is not the all-important dollar or selling a product just to sell a product. We believe that giving the customer an excellent experience builds loyalty, and loyalty is what brings money in.

After listening and discussing for quite some time, I got up and walked to the marker board, grabbed a marker and wrote a phrase for all to see. It went something like this, "I believe that each customer who I talk to today wants efficiency from me and excellent direction." I then said, "ladies and gentlement, we can have the best products, the best call flow, the best language to use . . . but if we don't have the right belief system in place then true excellence has once again eluded us." People buy what you believe in.

It all comes from our foundational belief system. Tony Robbins calls this "The Birth of Excellence" in his book Unlimited Power. Scripture calls it the Brain Revolution!

Romans chapters 12 and 13 tell us where this revolution takes place. It starts in our mind, develops into a belief system, affects our actions, and then changes the world. My favorite scripture verse is Romans 12:2 - "And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect." The next two chapters then go on to describe how a Christian should live in this world, but not of it!

The most powerful force on earth is our belief system. Transform your mind, transform the world. The writer of this passage knew what he was talking about. Changed from a torturer and murderer to a believer who traveled the world, he was bitten by poisonous snakes, was stoned to death and raised again, flogged, brought a dead teenager back to life . . . that is transformation! Paul knew the power of revolutionary belief. This is why I do not cringe or bristle when I hear of Teen Challenge or FireStarters or any other crusade center its theme around revolution. I think that, for the most part, these themes are centered around the revolution of belief. I support that. However, I do question what beliefs are being taught.

I would like to see more "revolution" centered on who a Christian actually is. What movement or force does he or she actually belong to. This brings me back to my point on us being part of The Kingdom of Heaven. Remember, we can have the best language, the best format, the best visual effects, the best life style, the best witness . . . but have we talked about who we are? Unless we know who we are in Christ, a facade can form and eventually crumble. This is why we hear of those "saints" who are caught in sin, sometimes sins that have been committed for decades! The facade is not the real. They are unbelievers. They do not see their place in the Kingdom of Heaven because they have bought into the Kingdom of Self.

We can be transformed by the renewing of our beliefs. In a spiritual sense, the only real revolutionary is Satan. I mentioned at the beginning that many of us believe in his Kingdom. Many of us believe and count on a belief that he is the prince of this world, that he has all power, and that angels are constantly battling to rest God's children from Satan's grip. This is not true. Yes, it was true, to a point, before Christ came. However, there are at least two scriptural references pointing to a shift in that power upon Christ's death. I am talking about Rev. 1:18 where Christ tells John, "I am the first and the last, and the living One; and I was dead, and behold, I am alive forevermore, and I have the keys of death and Hades."

Also, Matthew 28:18 says, "And Jesus came up and spoke to them, saying, "All authority has been given to Me in heaven and on earth"". This happened after the crucifixion. Yes, Satan is still powerful and is still the "prince of the power of the air" (Ephesians 2:2), but the Bible specifically dictates where and to whom Satan has dominion over . . . . sinners; those who disobey and disbelieve. There it is again. That word "believe" is powerful, even when it's being dissed! If there is any real attempt to overthrow a spiritual government, it is actually our enemy who is the revolutionary. We have already won! We are rulers, conquerors, ministers of the Gospel showing every nation a Heavenly Kingdom here on earth, preparing for a greater Kingdom to come. Wickedness is trying to overthrow us! We are the ones in power, not vice versa! Why else would we be tempted? Why else are we attacked? Why else do we have an enemy.

The Bible is pretty clear about this. In fact, we easily buy into our enemy's fall. His disgrace. We see him tempt Christ and fail. We see him defeated time and again through heroic stories of Biblical proportions. We see him lose and lose and lose, and we even hold an annual holiday celebrating our Lord's resurrection, our enemy's ultimate beat down . . . then read a few verses in Scripture regarding his earthly power (yes, he is powerful in an earthly sense) and beat a hasty retreat, giving him the mile when he's desparately fighting for an inch.

We would do well to take our mind off our enemy's temporal kingdom and focus more on the permanent Kingdom of Heaven to which we belong. Let us transform our minds to the incredible truth of being leaders in the Kingdom to come. Let us teach our children and young people. Let us start new believers on the correct path, showing them what they were and now are in Christ. We are loyal subjects to the King of all kings, the Lord of all lords, the One who brings us our victory!

Let's "man up" and stop living defeated lives. We are more than conquerors.

For God and King!

© Copyright Derek Hickman 2008

The Importance of Real Gratitude

Several months ago, I saw a story about an 11-year-old boy who was caught in a crevasse in California. He had been playing on the beach with his friends, running and climbing on the coastal rocks, when he slipped and fell into a crack in one of the large rocks he was playing on. The harder he struggled, the deeper he slid down until he was wedged so tight that no one could pull him out. It had gotten so bad, that with every breath he took, he inched lower and tighter. He was literally dying from lack of oxygen when the rescuers got there. The rock was smothering him.

At first, his helpers did not seem to understand the situation, but soon realized that his breathing was so shallow, he was in and out of conciousness. Their efforts quickly became more animated when they realized the life and death struggle they were in. They worked for over an hour trying to pull him out, to no avail. Then, a firefighter had the idea to pour motor oil all over him, to try to lubricate the rock enough to allow them to pull him free. It worked.

What happened next will stay with me for the rest of my life. When the men pulled him up to the top, he kept reaching out and saying "Thank You, Thank You" over and over again. I have never seen gratitude like that in a person's eyes before. I was looking into the eyes of a soul who was on the brink of death, who was dying right in front of us, when suddenly he was pulled free to live, to breathe freely.

And right there, it hit me. That boy is all of us. That is exactly where where we are as unbelievers. I remember that suffocating feeling of being trapped. My hatred of others, my desire to break all the rules led me to the edge, and I fell in. We are all trapped by what we think is on that rock of temptation - esteem, all that money can buy, the self-worth that the taboo promises- only to find out afterward that we are slowly dying, we have failed to stay away from the edge. We slide down into the crevasse. We become more and more uncomfortable until we are barely alive. Death is near . . .

No one truly knows what gratitude is like the person who has been snatched from the grip of Death. Those of us who have been saved from Hell should always have that sense gratitude. The deeper you are, the more thankful you become when you think about what you have been saved from. I want to say "Thank You, Thank You" to my Savior. I am saved! Those of us who believe: We are saved!! We can breathe again. Thank You Jesus!

© Copyright Derek Hickman 2008